Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
