theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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