Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
