did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
