was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
