All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
