what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
