I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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