Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
