ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
