I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
