"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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