He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
