He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
