Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
