I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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