Already got asked if we're dating
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
