Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
