tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
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