i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
