I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
