He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
