wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
