tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
