i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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