I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
