Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
