I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
