stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
