make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
