for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
