I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
