Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
