so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
