yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
