we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
