I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
