Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I got inside last night via doggy door
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