I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
