the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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