im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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