We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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