im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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