Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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