I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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