what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
