i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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