i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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