Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
