We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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