The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
