Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
