her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
