To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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