his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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