And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
