her vagine was all disorganized.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize