Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
your thong is hanging out like whoa
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
