from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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