You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
