soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize