she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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