Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she peed on how many people?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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