I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
