He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The best revenge is premature balding
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize