I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
