The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
