My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
