i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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