I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
