Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
